Friday, September 4, 2009

Top Ten Things To Do While Learning Greek

10. Loudly discuss your pastor’s incorrect Greek usage after the sermon.
9. Find infallible proof that [insert name here] is the Antichrist by translating his name from Greek to Aramaic to English to Elvish.
8. Feel really cool when you write your name in Greek and start all your e-mails with charis humin kai eirene.
7. Discover ancient prophetic messages hidden in the Greek letters of the New Testament: "Jesus calls the antichrist the abomination of desolation, bdelugma eremoseos. The letters in that phrase can be rearranged to form the phrase a submerged eel moos, meaning that one of the signs of the apocalypse will be the creation of mutant eel-cows."
6. Come up with really descriptive word pictures based on Greek: "It says here that 'rivers of living water will flow from' the believer. In Greek, that word flow is rheo, from which we get the English word diarrhea."
5. Find secret Satanic messages in fraternity and sorority names.
4. Consider yourself more holy than the heathen in your church who don’t know Greek.
3. Whisper sweet nothings to your honey in Greek: chairein, brephe. kalle puge (= Greetings, baby. Nice buns).
2. Regularly interrupt your Bible study by saying, “Well, in the Greek New Testament…”
1. Improve your chances of getting a date with an ancient Greek.

1 comment:

  1. ROFL!!!

    On some websites, my username is Charis_kai_eirene. :)

    ReplyDelete